In a world where we have constant access to information, I never imagined it would be so hard to find information!
I have been teaching students for the last 6 years, that when you find conflicting information, you should keep reading different sources until you can determine what is true. Clearly I had never been a parent trying to decipher her newborn’s behaviors, habits, crys, or weird red spots.
For all the information available to us, I have never been so confused or overwhelmed in my life as I have been in the last month. I had no idea that the land of parenting contained such defensive and polarized opinions. Of all the topics I have decided I needed to research, I have come up with ZERO answers that can be “determined to be true” because there are apparently NO right answers.
Sleep train. Don’t sleep train. Sleep training is child abuse. Co-sleep. Don’t co-sleep. Have a schedule. Don’t have a schedule. If you feed on a schedule your baby will die. If you don’t feed on a schedule your baby will die.
And I, being one who loves to research and search for truth, have been trapped in this world of contradictions for the last 3 weeks. So lost, that I almost forgot that there is a sweet baby boy who doesn’t need me to spend all day feeding into my need to be perfect. He needs a mommy who is calm, trusts her instincts, and remembers that with polarized points of view, the truth is always somewhere in the middle.
Structure is important. Anyone who has ever spent any significant amount of time in a classroom knows this. I will not be able to function as a parent if my child makes all the rules (and to be honest, he won’t be able to function in society if I let him). But at the same time, it really isn’t all that important that he naps on a schedule at the ripe old age of 7 weeks. If his wake up time isn’t the same every day, and if he sometimes naps on the couch with me while we (I) catch up on Grey’s Anatomy, he will be just fine. Yes, he sleeps in his own room, in his own bed. And yes, I believe in schedules. But do I need to nearly have a panic attack when the schedule just doesn’t work out for a few days? I am going to have to try to remember that the answer is a definitive NO.
So, I have banished Google from our house for a week…just long enough to hopefully break my habit.
No more researching. No more obsessing. No more questioning every decision I make, believing that surely if I don’t find a source to confirm that I am making the right one, that my child will die.
If it is an important enough question, I can call the pediatrician. You know. That guy who spent his entire career researching, so that I don’t have to.